I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
