Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Floor bacon is actually really good
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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