He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
