brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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