I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
