I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
