fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
