when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
