Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
