guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
