jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
