Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
