first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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