sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
