whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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