You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
