her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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