Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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