hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
