someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
