i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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