Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
