just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
