we're blogging at a bar
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
