I heard we made out
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
