So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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