Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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