please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
