Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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