Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
