Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
