he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
