So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
