I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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