kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize