So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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