i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
