i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
