You're my little dorito
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
