To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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