fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
