She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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