I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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