She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
