Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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