Midget sex pt 2 tonight
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
