Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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