He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
