I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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