don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
