My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
